Is there an easy way to print out all the keyboard shortcuts so I can paste it to the wall and see them at a glance? Having to look into the settings for them is just hard enough to make me not want to bother trying to use them, and I have a terrible memory..

Search for the keyword 'shortcuts' in the manual.

Tried that already. It only leads to a page showing you how to change the shortcuts, but it does not give a handy list of all the shortcuts currently defined (never mind the fact that there are like 5 different key mappings you can choose from...)

Strange, I get over a dozen pages in the results, which I copied/pasted into a single large sheet.

you may also try phped.cfg which is an XML file containing all the shortcuts.